Focusing on the Special

It is no secret that Little Dude has special needs.  Born with Schizencephaly, a diagnosis that refers to "clefts" in his brain.  These clefts have caused damage to the left side of his brain, which in turn, affects his mobility and the use of the right side of his body.

At the time of his adoption (when he was 5 months old), we were given a dim view of his future.  We were told that he had a 100% chance of delays.  It was not clear how severe these delays would be, but could include the inability to walk and talk, limited ability to learn, vision problems, seizures...the list was daunting.

We took comfort in one special person.  Our case worker from the adoption agency.  The night before he was to placed, permanently, in our arms she had a dream. The dream was of an older Little Dude, standing on a field, playing baseball.

From that moment on, we, as a family, made a choice for our little man.  We would focus on the special and not the needs.

With Little Dude the special is not hard to find.  He is tenacious, bright, and hilarious!  He is charming (sometimes to a fault) and definitely a ladies man!

Does he have delays, of course (he is still, at almost 4 struggling to count beyond 10, name is colors, and many other basic preschool skills). His size (smaller than many 2 year-olds) and mobility issues hold him back sometimes as well.  However, the kid does not give up.  We often come to brick walls with his development and decide that this is something he won't be able to do.  It is at that moment that he surprises us and proves us wrong.  For this reason we have decided that we will never stop him from trying everything and only helping when absolutely necessary.

Some days it is not easy.  I often find myself spending my lunch hour on the phone, coordinating with his Early Intervention team, scheduling therapies, checking in with case workers and setting up appointments with specialists. 

The payoff is worth it.  Watching the child who may never learn, recite Bible verses and tell us what he learned in Sunday School.  Watching the child who may never walk, run down the soccer field with a smile on his face and take a daredevil ride down the big hill on his bike.  And, not least, hearing that precious little boy earnestly pray his own bedtime prayer and taking the time to thank God for the pizza man.

This is the special, and this is our life.

A new beginning

For sometime now I've been tossing around the idea of dusting off the old blog.  So here we go.

My intent is not to record the mundane, everyday life of our family, but to chronicle those moments that occur and are often lost in that mundaneness.

My hope is, that through glimpses into our reality, others to will see the beauty in the day to day moments of their lives.

It's a Boy!

Meet Joshua Robert. This little boy stole our heart when we first met him just this past Friday. And now, here we sit, with this little love sleeping soundly in his crib in his forever home. Tonight is officially just a "visit" the last in our transitional visits. Tomorrow with bags packed, we will return to the Bethany office and complete our placement. From there it's off to Stone Harbor for some serious bonding time and to wait out the paperwork to make this New Jersey placement official.

How can you not just fall in love with this face? Both Clarke and I have taken turns in the past hour just going and standing at his cribside and gazing as he sleeps. He really is here!

2 weeks to go until South Africa. God has wondrously provided, while we are still not at 100% as far as our funding, we know that it will be provided and are now working on getting everything ready for our trip. The preparation stage is exciting, but I know I am anxious to just "get there" and get to work.

We are working now on getting together gifts for all the children at Bethesda. The majority of us will be packing 1 suitcase for ourselves and a 2nd suitcase of gifts for the kids. It's been fun shopping and looking for fun things to fill the bags I have.

We (the South Africa team) will be setting up a blog in the next week or so, this will be (we hope) updated while we are there so that those who would like, can follow our trip.

Update

It's hard to believe summer is almost over. We've been enjoying the "fruits" of our garden and are to the point where there is less where the produce is beginning to dwindle.

Clarke just said to me yesterday that he is not ready for summer to be over. Awana starts at our church next week - so he will be jumping in to that with gusto. I have 2 new piano students, one is starting this evening - definitely signs that fall will soon be here.

Also fast approaching is our much anticipated South Africa trip. We are a little anxious as we only have about 1/4 of our needed funds together at this point with less than 2 months to go until we leave. We are continuing to trust that God will provide. If you haven't yet - and are interested in doing so - drop us an e-mail and we will let you know how you can contribute to this great cause. We are excited to have this chance to be God's hands and feet to these beautiful young children.

On the adoption front - we continue to wait expectantly. We had a small setback about a month ago - when I suddenly found myself unemployed. I am still "not working" but through piano lessons, and other opportunities - God is continuing to provide for us and protecting our income somewhat - while we have taking a bit of a "financial" hit - things are still okay and we are continuing on in the process. In a way - we see this as a blessing because it is helping us to figure out how we might possible be able to handle having me at home more regularly and working less once a child is placed in our home.

Through it all - we are ultimately trusting that God would have has continue on in both the missions trip and the adoption and learn some important lessons in trusting in Him and His provision for our lives.

We thank you for joining us in the journey and thank you also for your prayers. They are felt and appreciated.

It's a quiet night here at the Staus home. Clarke is out at a baseball game with some neighbor "guys" and I am home alone. It was a fun late afternoon, I did laundry and some grocery shopping and then kicked back with the remote and a line up of "chick flicks". I love my husband dearly - but I do enjoy a healthy dose of "me time" and the Lifetime Movie network on occassion.

Just a quick update. . We are also continuing to prepare, both for the trip to South Africa in the fall. At this point we have approximately 1/4 of the funds raised for our trip to South Africa, we know God will provide and are excited to see this happen. If you would like to donate to our trip and have a part in our outreach to the children of this country you may still do so. If you expressed interest and provided an address, your letter will be on the way shortly.

You may also send a donation to us directly. Please make all checks payable to “East Brandywine Baptist Church” and make sure your name and address appear correctly on the slip so that we may provide you with documentation for your 2010 Tax Return. You may send them to our address, if you do not have it, e-mail us and we will get it to you.

Finally, we have gotten so many e-mails of encouragement from many of you concerning the adoption. Thank you so much. This is proving to be a long, emotional journey, already filled with plenty of ups and a few downs and the prayers and encouragement of our friends and family, both near and far, have been felt and appreciated.

With love,
Clarke and Patti

Summer is in full swing and we are enjoying a relaxing 3 day weekend. The longer days mean more time to spend in our yard. Clarke is hard at work making our yard beautiful and I am proud of the work he has done. We both spend time battling the weeds in our garden and it has become quite productive. It is so much fun to walk out to our patch in the evening with my basket and search for "dinner" - some evenings we have fresh beans or zucchini, cucumbers are almost always ready to be picked, we have even tried some of our swiss chard and found it to be pretty good.

The first 6 months of our adoption journey were hectic, filled with paperwork, appointments, home visits, classes, preparation. Now, here we are on the next phase of the journey where the key seems to be patience. We wait, and we wait, and there is often nothing new to report. Occasionally we receive an e-mail from the agency asking if we are interested in having our profile shown with a brief synopsis of the birth mothers unique situations. Often we say yes, but sadly there are situations that seem so far beyond our capabilities, and we say no. The process continues. Having our profile shown does not mean we are the only "match" for this mother. Ultimately it is the choice of the birthmother to choose for herself where she will have he child placed.

On the South Africa front we continue to trust that God will provide the resources needed for our missions trip. At this time we have raised about 1/4. For those that expressed interest in a letter, and yet have not received one - it will be coming out shortly (we had to buy a new cartridge for the printer).